I wonder if I should resist putting words to our relationship. · The mystery and unpredictability of these last 18 months. · If I try to unravel it’s complexity I worry it will lose it’s hold. · I worry that I’ll trap meaning when it’s still unravelling · That I’ll rationalise away the beauty of it all. · I don’t know if I do want to understand it. · Looking for an explanation but scared of what I’ll find.