I need to accept that I might have some sort of chemical imbalance - something that puts me through these cycles of numbness. · I try so hard to prevent it, but I can’t. · I try to explain it through spiritual initiation or Jungian processes, but I’m putting too much pressure on myself · Is it something I ultimately can’t control? · Is part of the ‘control’ letting go of how I think I should be? · Is this just me?